


sandalwood and nutmeg

by rapowstner



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Fluff and Smut, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hair Ornaments used in Dubious Ways, Light BDSM, Light Dom/sub, Multi, They Just Want to Feel Loved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-19
Updated: 2018-06-19
Packaged: 2019-05-25 14:27:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,135
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14979107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rapowstner/pseuds/rapowstner
Summary: There are many feelings that you can't help but associate with Julian. And you also can’t help but hold dear each and every single one of them.There's one, however, that you can't help but cherish the most.





	sandalwood and nutmeg

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, folks! This is my first ever fic and it was written with the utmost care. The idea for it has been in my head for awhile now, so I had to try and put it on words. lol
> 
> Feel free to leave any suggestions, I'd appreciate that very much!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!  
> <3

There are many feelings that you can't help but associate with Julian. And you also can’t help but hold dear each and every single one of them. Like when that invisible force tightens around your heart whenever you notice his eyes tracking your movements. Or the palpitations that follow every single one of his smiles – especially those bright enough and true enough to reach his gaze. There is, of course, the light sting of your cheeks burning when he says something saucy and overtly flirty, sharing a heated look and running his fingers whisper-soft on the back of your hand. Or even the overwhelming delight that floods your senses when he holds you, his hand on your neck in a light caress and his scent everywhere.  
  
Above all, however, there are two. Of those, the first that comes to mind is the soft heat that warms your belly every time he looks at you after kissing in that really sweet and delicate way. His eye clear and shinning under long eyelashes, looking for any signs that you might have disapproved, as if he still is not sure he can touch you that way.  
  
The one you cherish the most, though, is the shiver that runs through your body every time you see him like this. The shiver that leaves your skin tingling, hands and nape hot, and that muddles your thoughts.  
  
This is definitely one of your favorite sights of Julian. His face and neck look flushed and feverish as he lays on his stomach, hair mussed and contrasting against the white sheets. Those usually provocative eyes moving around, as if Julian himself is not sure if he wants to keep them shut or if he wants to look back at you. It is a wonderful sight, indeed. His body is taut, back arched and ass high, skin glowing with the golden light of the candles. The initial moment of shyness has already passed, so he doesn’t try to keep his legs closed any more. It’s too taxing without the help of his hands.  
  
Julian is practically sprawled on your bed, almost ethereal in the mist of incense you’re burning. The smell of it is thick in the air, just as its smoke – notes of sandalwood, cinnamon and nutmeg reaching every corner of the room. His beautiful and strong arms, more than strong enough to carry you, are bound behind his back with silk rope. It’s a very neat sequence of knots, and you are proud of them. Julian tends to get annoyed if the thread in his hands loosens too easily – but it seems that this time you got it tight enough, if the look on your lover’s face has any say on it.  
  
You notice Julian squirm while chasing away a shiver, as if he could feel your stare on his own skin – caressing his legs, back and arms, all laid bare for you to adore. It’s hard not to find endearing how worked up he gets just from having your eyes at him. He whimpers, calling out your name, and in the next second your attention is back to his face. You meet two pleading eyes and suddenly your chest is bursting with pride for this wonderful man, who, even after all he’s gone through, still has the will to trust you enough to expose his deepest insecurities.  
  
“Please…” Julian murmurs. “Come here, _please_.”  
  
Deciding this as a sign that your observations have taken long enough, you leave your seat and cross the small space to sit on the bed. He loses a bit of his balance when your weight dips the mattress and tries to catch himself next to your thigh – the cool sensation of his arm touching you is welcome in your state. It’s a small reminder for you to calm your wits and not to get too worked up. When you make no move to dislodge him from your side he drops his body against you, as if following the heat that is so rare on his skin.  
  
You caress his face, pushing his sweaty hair back while you make small noises to calm his trembling form.  
  
_Shhh._  
  
Julian accepts your touch with an unguarded look. You keep doing it for a while, until both of you have calmed down – his trembling reduced to a light shivering that comes when your hand finds a good spot on his scalp or neck. _So sensitive, this lover of yours._  
  
“Better?” you ask. While out of moments like these Julian tends to an extremely self-destructive behavior, he does understand that safety and honesty are essential to you. You are both aware that if you didn’t trust him enough to be sincere with his needs and limits, he would not be tied up on your bed right now.  
  
  
Still, he sighs heavily and then turns a hard stare at you.  
  
“Took you long enough, didn’t it?” _Ah, there he is._ Such a sharp mouth - and you love it so much.  
  
A fond chuckle escapes your mouth and you turn to help Julian to a sitting position. When finally resting against a pile of feather pillows his shoulders relax, and there’s a grateful little turn of lips in your direction. Once your lover is comfortable enough, you climb on his lap, careful to maintain your body weight on your knees, even as you roll your body against his.  
  
“You know I get easily distracted” Julian's very expressive eyebrows go up at that and you practically jump at the chance "and you were looking so good I couldn't help myself."  
  
As if on cue, the flush on his cheeks reaches his neck and chest, looking luminescent against the coarse patch of hair. Julian looks surprised at you and your satisfied smile, and fleetingly you wonder when will he believe you or your feelings.  
"This can’t be new to you, love.” you touch his cheek at that, moving the tips of your fingers to his chin in a light caress. You tip his face so you can look into those beautiful eyes and he squirms under your stare. "Julian, darling... You look so hot all tied up like that. Just like a present."  
  
You snort at how silly you sound, but the constant scarlet tint in Julian's cheeks tells you he thinks otherwise. It's easy to notice that your lover is without words, or the will to try a snarky come back - so you take the opportunity to seal his lips with yours.  
  
The kiss starts just as the ones you enjoy so much: soft and delicate. It's warm and sweet and feels like everything you might have wanted. It's as honey dripping slowly and sensuously against your lips and suddenly your body aches with the need for more. You bite Julian's bottom lip without much care and, just as you expected, he groans, warm breath hitting your face. In the next moment you're delving deeper into his mouth, inviting his tongue to an all-consuming battle that makes heat curl in your stomach.  
  
And for a while it is just like a battle. Julian kisses you back with just as much enthusiasm, twisting his tongue and caressing yours in the most maddening way. But then he's just taking, taking and taking everything you can give him, and there is just so much to give. Your hands hold the back of his head firmly and positioning it so you can swallow every perfect little noise or puff of air that comes from your lovers mouth. You feel like you can't get enough of his taste, and that you never will. However, soon you find yourself angry at your weak human body that's forcing you to breathe. What is this whole breathing thing anyway? Right when you have much more important things to do; and much more brilliant, too.  
Julian's lips are completely abused; red and swollen and glistening with saliva and all you want to do is kiss those lips for hours and hours. You refrain, though, reminding yourself that this is much more about the beautiful man under you than it is about your needs. Entangling your fingers through auburn locks you pull Julian's head back, exposing the long column of his neck to your clever mouth. When your teeth meet his skin, you’re rewarded with the gorgeous sensation of his throat quivering with a moan.  
  
Your hands accompany your mouth, pressing hard against his recently bitten skin – the sharp sensation is then followed by the loving caress of your lips and tongue. You touch everything you can reach; the sharp curve of his jaw, the strong muscles of his neck, the nervous Adam’s apple, his shoulders; going down until your mouth finds the hardened nub of a nipple.  
  
It’s hard not to lose focus when Julian is giving you the most beautiful responses, but you manage to keep your ministrations. You observe your lovers reactions, the small hiss when you scrape his sensitive skin with your teeth or the deep groan when you suckle on it. It’s possible that you might have heard a sob or another while pressing your flat tongue hard against his nipples.  
  
So entranced he seems that he only seem to notice your hand moving around in the bedside table when metal clinks. Julian makes a despondent noise when you sit back on his thighs, leaving his bruised skin alone, but is cut short when he notices what you have in your hands.  
  
Two ornate golden clasps, joined by a delicate chain of the same color, are being held in one of your hands. You level him with a patient look, waiting for permission to go along with your plans, and it doesn’t seem that it will take long. Julian’s mouth falls open and his eyes glaze - he has seen those clasps before. He has even admired you while they embellished your hair. Suddenly the heat in his body is screaming with the need to feel just what you plan to doing with those ornaments.  
  
You smile when your lover eagerly nods and dip your head for another, yet gentler kiss. When you sit back again, Julian gulps at the sight of your hooded, lust-filled eyes. His arms are starting to protest from the position, but he can hardly care when you’re pinching his nipples so nicely. The sting of hold metal is a surprise, though, and Julian can’t help but yelp. You bite your lip to hold a laugh, but can’t actually hide it that much. When Julian notices, he is quick to pout and open his mouth to protest, but is hindered by a sharp pull of the chains.  
  
_God, the sound he just made!_  
  
It was as if he moaned with his whole body – you could even feel it in his stomach, right next to your thighs. Not being able to hold it back anymore, you wrap the golden chain around your fingers and keep it tensioned. Your mouth goes back to that porcelain skin, running your lips on the expansion of his belly, biting here and there. You even find the time to kiss his waist, just to see him wiggle around, straining against the silk binding and the clamps. When you find his navel, you can’t help but dip the point of your nose just there, breathing against his belly and then lightly kissing the sensitive skin right under it.  
  
And suddenly it’s as if the time stops. You are both aware of your heavy breathing – the hot waves of desire flowing through your bodies. And even if you’ve came to this moment different times before, it still feels strange. Wilder. Deeper. From where you are you can practically taste Julian – heavy as his scent is. All musky and manly, difficult to separate from your incenses. You’re light-headed from it, your body feeling tingly all over. And all you can do is move your free hand down his body until you can wrap it around his hard shaft.  
  
Its skin is velvety soft and warm, definitely the warmest place in Julian’s body. And while you close your fingers around it, thumb lightly pressing under the tip, you can hear his teeth clicking when trying to hold back a groan. You give him one last look before turning your attention to his hard member and licking it in stride. Julian finds it’s as if he was hypnotized. He can’t stop looking at you – at your pink tongue licking at his head, or your cheeks sucking on his length, or how your cute nose looks against the dark hair on the base of his dick. Your name is like a prayer parting his lips. He tries to keep the noise down, but you are not having any of that – so you pull harshly at the chain while giving a particularly hard suck.  
  
Julian trashes around, a needy wail leaving his mouth in a way that shoots sparks right through your core. His sweaty hair is a mess over his forehead and cheeks. His eyes are pools of want, all pupil. You can see the muscles on his shoulders straining against the knots on his arms, and his legs tremble against you. He tastes divine, and a short-lived curiosity of giving him head until the sun is up flies through your mind.  
  
When you hear you name whispered again you let go of your ministrations. You know you look debauched – your face is probably just as red as Julian’s – so you prop your chin on his body, looking up at him and trying to calm your breath.  
  
“Yes, love?” you ask after a moment of silence. Julian is worrying his lip between his teeth, the nervous tick almost hurting the delicate skin. Yet you keep waiting, already having in mind what he wants. _But you want him to want enough to ask._  
  
“Could you… _ah_ ” he wriggles around, moving his body in a specific way and trying to pass his message without words. You smile softly at him, enchanted with his tentative voice.  
  
“Hm?” you climb his body, rubbing your chest on his abdomen until your eyes are level with his. He shivers under you. “Could I _what_ , darling?”  
  
You search his eyes, wanting probably just as much as him. Your belly is on fire, you have his taste on your lips and the prospect of having him is almost too much for you to bear. Julian inhales deep and meets your unwavering gaze, soon letting everything out in just one breath.  
  
“Could you... Could you, please, use your fingers on me?” Julian says it with such an eager expression that you have to hide your face on his neck, groaning at the feeling of your core throbbing.  
  
" _Yes_... Yes, darling, I can" you whisper against his skin before laying a soft kiss under his ear. The golden chain changes hand quickly and you pull it slightly to provoke your lover. You are again going through the bedside table, but searching for something else. Julian's eyes are burning holes at you. You can feel his gaze hot and expectant.  
  
When you find the vial you were looking for you make a low victory noise. Julian’s body tenses under yours and you slide back on his legs, trailing kisses to where your mouth was before. You just want to enjoy this a little bit more.  
  
Hence, you take him in your mouth again, caressing the rest of his length with your free hand. The sensory input is addicting. His voice meekly calling at you, the heat of his hardness in your lips, his bitter taste on your tongue, it’s all pretty much overwhelming. And yet you can’t stop. You caress the underside of his dick if your tongue and slowly suck it deeper, until you can feel him touching the back of your throat. You keep repeating your ministrations while changing the intensity of your movements – the hand that holds the delicate golden chain doesn’t stop pulling. The whole things seems pretty much synchronized, even Julian’s cacophony of grunts and whimpers.  
  
Taking one last look at your lover’s pleasure stricken face, you let go of him with a wet pop. Your breath is ragged and throat a bit sore, but you still manage to call his attention.  
  
“Turn for me, yes, love?” you smile lovingly at Julian, caressing the fine hair in his thigh. He blinks half-open eyes at you and tries to turn. It’s a very slow process, given that he can’t use his hands or arms. In the end, Julian’s face is pressed against the soft pillows, his back as arched as it can with tied arms. He’s on his knees; sumptuous ass high and heavy dick between his legs. His eyes, however, are completely tuned in your movements – following every single jerk of your arms.  
  
You briefly help him get the clasps’ chain from under his torso, bringing it next to his face.  
  
“Will you be a dear and hold this for me?” you ask next to his ear. Julian numbly nods with his head and puts his lips around your finger, catching the delicate links between his teeth. After he’s done, you run your fingers through his auburn hair, humming softly. “ _Beautiful._ ”  
  
He blushes to his ears and avert his eyes, making an flustered quip. You get on your knees behind Julian and finally stop to admire the man before you. It’s even possible to feel the moment your breath catches, eyes mesmerized by his body. Such beautiful and pale skin, flushed in just the best places.  
  
It's a heady feeling, having Julian practically presenting himself to you. You caress his pale cheek before giving it a cracking slap. It reverberates all the way up through your arm, his ass bouncing lightly. Julian grunts lowly, hiding his face on the pillow, and all you can think is how pretty the blush blossoming on his skin is. It slowly fades away as if it was never there in the first place, and you want so bad to make Julian remember you – since his body won't.  
  
You sit back on your shins and caress his back before retrieving the oil vial from the bed. When you take the cork out your nose is permeated by the sweet smell of the liquid - it mixes well with the remnants of cinnamon and nutmeg on the air, even if your incenses have burned out a while ago.  
  
Turning some drops of the viscous substance to your hand, you warm it between fingers before adding a little bit more. You get close to Julian, your thighs now almost glued to the back of his legs. You know you might also be trembling a bit. This is something you have done just once before, and you enjoyed thoroughly - but you want him to enjoy even more than you do.  
  
Delicately touching your lips to his back, you sooth the force of his clenched hands. Your hand, meanwhile, caresses his skin until finding his puckered whole. You circle it for a bit, attentive to Julian's reactions. When he finally relaxes you press your digit lightly on the tight skin, rubbing it slowly. Julian sighs, so delicately that you almost can't hear, and you choose that moment to push the tip of your finger in.  
  
It's a slow process, but the oil helps. You thrust your finger slowly, overwhelmed by the tightness around it, and twist it over. Looking for the golden chain of the clamps, you change your position to catch it between your fingers, caressing Julian's lips while doing it. Now you're by his side, playing with the chain and finger still slowly thrusting up in him.  
  
From this position you can see Julian's pretty mouth and blushed cheeks. It's wonderful - especially when you pull the clamps and add a second finger at the same time, watching as he bites his lips and opens his eyes in surprise. Your fingers twist and turn and scissor inside him, and you fancy yourself enjoying it just as much as Julian. The heat surrounding your digits is almost scorching, intoxicating so.  
  
Abruptly Julian arches his back, a long moan escaping his mouth and you know you found that perfect little spot inside of him. You press at it again, enjoying the way his body starts to eagerly push back against your hand. Your movements are controlled, slow and gentle. It’s the easiest way to make Julian squirm, and he’s very much doing so. His legs are already quivering, trying their best to hold up. You force yourself to stop paying undivided attention to his prostate, being that you don’t want Julian to come or to become oversensitive.  
  
You still scissor your digits, though, concentrated in preparing him for another one. So focused you are that you almost don’t notice Julian’s moans going up a notch, alerting you he’s close. You stop your hand, feeling him contracting around you. Biting your lip, you patiently wait for the edge to dissipate before taking your digits out. Julian’s body is already tensing up again, completely frustrated.  
  
“What? _Why_?” he turns, an affronted look on his face. “Why did you s- _hnng_ ”  
  
You interrupt him with a well-timed pull of the clamps, cutting his protests short. Julian breathes through his mouth, watching as you let the chain go and deliberately start to untie the silk rope.  
  
“I don’t want to finish now” you say with a small voice, while slowly undoing your previous work “I want you to touch me first.”  
  
The last bit is said looking directly to his eyes. You know your voice is down and that your cheeks are red – you’re completely flustered. It’s hard to make love to Julian without his touch and for some reason or another you simply don’t want to control these urges.  
  
The flustering proves to be necessary when the usual smirk of your lover’s face makes an appearance. You wonder if it’s possible for your face to get even more flushed – all your blood seems to have found your cheeks the best place to flow. Where is the cool you were keeping just then?  
  
“ _Kitten_ , all you had to do was ask” Julian purrs as he stirs his unbound arms and hands, turning to face you. Even with his whole provocative flare, there is still a shine of affection in his eyes. He snorts when he sees your face, and your shoulders go up to your ears. You know you’re pouting, you can feel it perfectly and yet you can’t seem to stop it. Julian’s expression softens, though, and he opens his arms for you. “Come here, will you? I could make use of your talented hands.”  
  
_Humpft._  
  
Still, you make way up his thighs, finally letting your weight sit comfortably on his body. Your hands find his, and you carefully massage his fingers and palm, helping with the numbness. You continue the journey up his arms rubbing his body and find time to carefully remove the golden clamps from his nipples. There are welts on his skin and you watch as they slowly dissipate. It probably must hurt – but if you know anything about Julian is that he must be enjoying it. A quick scan through his torso shows you his quivering muscles, and when you move to touch his other arm you can feel his wet hardness touching you. _Definitely liking it, then._  
  
Once you’re finished, Julian’s hand comes to your chin, bringing your face close for a toe-curling kiss. While you’re preoccupied with his skillful tongue, his other hand skims affectionately down your body. You can’t help but moan into his mouth when his fingers start a very sinful and delicious caress. The heat comes in waves and all you can do is kiss him harder around your moans and hold his shoulders for dear life. Belatedly you notice Julian is actually prepping you – his long fingers entering you one by one. At this point you don’t even know if the wetness is from you or from the oil, so ablaze the fire in your belly is.  
  
Julian is two fingers deep, touching you in an aggravating slow pace. Still, you whimper on his mouth when he carefully presses that wonderful spot inside of you. It feels like you can’t control your body or your mind – your hips are circling on his lap, chasing for more of that feeling while you moan wantonly into the kiss. You feel too warm and sweaty, the heat in your core is all-consuming and all you want is for Julian to be inside you right now.  
  
But he’s still touching you and, being the considerate lover he is, hardly will enter you without being sure that you won’t hurt. Still, you grind against his hand, following those sluggish movements almost desperately. You feel a third digit breaching you and the pressure is just right enough for a sigh to leave your parted lips.  
  
You don’t know how long it takes, but your head is slack against his shoulder, your hips still moving against him. You’re getting closer and closer to the edge and even your nipples are starting to feel a bit sensitive. The room is warm and the air is heavy with the smell of your pleasure. It does feel so good, though. You don’t know how he does it, but Julian seems to find all the right places in your body. He kisses you again, sliding his tongue against your lips to meet yours and, in that moment, you find the will to hold his arm still.  
  
“That’s enough already” you say after biting his lip to end the kiss. Julian shares a heated look with you and slowly rubs his pointy nose against yours. Your hands push at his chest, making him lay back across the pillows once again.  
  
His hands keep exploring your body when you stand on your knees – fingers playing with the nubs of your nipples while you carefully guide his member to your entrance. In a very languid and provocative way, you lower yourself on his dick, gently rolling your hips during it. Julian’s hands strongly grip your waist, and seem indecisive if they should stay still or help maneuver your body.  
  
You seize the moment to look at his face. His eyes are half-lidded, pupils blown out and practically engulfing his iris, his cheeks are violently blushed red and his hair is sticking everywhere. Even his lips aren’t safe from scrutiny – they are still swollen, bruised so hard from the kissing that even your lover’s body can’t seem to heal them. Julian’s fingers squeeze you when he notices you watching and you keep your eyes locked until he’s all the way in.  
  
It’s almost funny how both of you moan at the same time – you enchanted by how Julian’s length presses all the right places, and Julian overwhelmed by the heat and tightness of your body. Your hands search for his just to keep you grounded, and slowly but surely you start to move.  
Julian aids you, bringing your body close with his hands – eyes fixed on the place where you’re both connected. It’s exhilarating the way you move so in sync. You smile when a particularly clever roll of your hips make Julian clench his teeth. One of his hands travels to your ass and hold it tight, helping stabilizing you when he thrusts up. Your bodies are now undulating against each other in the most sensual way. It’s smooth and delicious and you can’t think of anything better at the moment.  
  
You’ve been floating around the edge for so long that, when given the change, one of your hands quickly goes to seek your own pleasure. Your legs quiver and right now Julian is mostly doing all work – pulling your waist and thrusting up. His pace is quickening, and so is the shift of your hand. There’s a creaking noise coming from your bed that combines in the most interesting way with both of your voices.  
The next moment you’re feeling your back against the mattress and Julian’s beautiful, gorgeous face is looking back at you. He puts his hands behind your knees and harshly rolls his hips up against yours. He’s moving surely and hard against you, making not only you see stars, but making shivers go down your spine. When you throw your head back, whimpering against the sensations, Julian’s mouth is right after it – biting and kissing your neck in a way that makes your blood boil.  
  
You know you won’t last long. Even if your hand has already migrated to your lover’s back, scratching his skin deeply, you know you won’t last long. Julian’s fastening pace will be enough to bring you over the edge. And he knows it, if the way he changes angles tell you anything. You yelp – there’s so much happening, so many sensations and feelings obfuscating your thoughts. Julian is continuously hitting something great inside you and your muscles clench involuntary.  
  
There’s a dissonance of sounds that can only come from you, but you can’t make yourself care. Not when there’s a scorching hot ball of white pleasure tightening in your stomach. Not when you hold Julian as if he’s the only thing keeping you in this plane of existence. Much less when you cry out in pleasure, your whole body tingling in the aftershocks of a mind-numbing orgasm.  
  
Your vision is black and there’s a weird noise in your ears – but you can still feel Julian thrusting inside you. His movements are now short, unsteady; too quick or reckless to be planned. You live for this. This moment when he’s so lost in pleasure that won’t notice how stiffly you hold him, needing to feel his presence, his body, his love. This is everything. The moment he chokes out a moan, body taut in pleasure and hardness pulsing inside you. Brilliant – it’s nothing more than brilliant.  
  
And then… Then everything is quiet except for the sound of your deep breaths. Julian rolls to the side, keeping you close in a very tight hug. You find that you don’t really care. At the moment, all you want is having the man you love the closest you can. There’s no real thought of how sweaty you are or how there’s a turned vial of oil somewhere in your room. Not even the cold breeze getting in from under your door is enough to catch your attention.  
  
All that’s going through your mind now is how your body fits against Julian’s. And how silly you were to think those were the only feelings worth mentioning.  
  
There’s so much more to feel. And so much more to cherish.  
  
But, you note while Julian’s breathing slowly lulls you to sleep, there’s also a lot of time for that.


End file.
